What is ‘this’ all for?

It is 1:14am … I have been sleeping on and off all day – consequence of too much ‘plane travel and too few neck stretches during said ‘plane travel…

And the recurring thought … question, if one were to be precise : what is ‘this’ all for? … How do I make this life ‘useful’?  What is the purpose of these days of mine?

And I don’t mean for these words to lead you to assume that my day has been spent mulling the maudlin … far from it … the thought was spawned from conversation last night – about babies and jobs and Champagne and partners and businesses and legal foundations of businesses … and the recurring thought – what is this all for?

We place so much importance on things and life milestones … but what is their purpose? Why do we struggle to achieve them? Why are they so important?

I am a fairly goal-orientated girl. I like to know why I’m doing something before I start doing it … or, at the very least, early on the road to completion. I imagine that this can be tiresome to some who just want to ‘do’ – I want to know ‘why’ before I ‘do’ …

And the answer to the question need not be something deep – it can just be “it’s fun” / “it makes me happy” – but I’d like to acknowledge the reason at the very least…

So what is this life for?

Am I supposed to experience all there is to experience? Am I supposed to live, laugh, love not necessarily in that order?? Because if the answer to either one of these questions is ‘yes’ then how do I live in the society that I live in? It seems to me that the ‘shoulds’ of life, as prescribed by my ancestors and peers, are directly contradictory…

According to these esteemed and powerful groups, I should get married, want power, want babies, need money, have a house, covet red-soled footwear … In ticking these elements off my imaginary list – have I lived enough, laughed enough, loved enough… have I experienced all there is to experience??

What would “experience all there is to experience” mean to me ?

I want to make my mark. I want to change the way that my society operates …

I want to love and be sure of being loved in return …

I want to explore …

I want to understand the why of things.

 

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